After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Someone shattered a urinal.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
