she smelled like a LAN party
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
