turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
