I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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