He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize
