Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
