apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
