Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
