How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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