things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
