I must be too annoying 4 u.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
