He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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