Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
