How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
