He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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