Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
