you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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