You just made me feel so damn special
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
