Since when is my name a synonym for head?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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