Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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