i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
We left an ass print on the piano.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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