i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
