what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
