It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
