her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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