Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
