I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
