I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
