the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
