i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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