I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
