a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
