talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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