So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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