Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
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