i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
