Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
