You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
