1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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