i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
