oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
