Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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