remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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