Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
