Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
