is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
