I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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