My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Randomize
