Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
