talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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