You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
