Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
