she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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