im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Randomize
