Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
