I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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