bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
