I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
