just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
