Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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